Thursday, January 17, 2008

Who Are They?

Dave was adopted as a baby, from a teenage mother in Twin Falls, Idaho. He was raised knowing he was adopted and never felt terribly compelled to find out who gave birth to him, until after his mission. At that point, anytime the topic came up, his adoptive mother threw what can only be referred to accurately as a bitch fit.

When Rebi was little, she had some serious medical issues, and we needed medical records on his birth family. We approached his father and requested that information, at which point, he said, "They're both healthy. No medical problems at all." and referred to a family friend who he was still in touch with. Dave's mother again threw a massive fit, sobbing and hiding in her room and giving everyone the silent treatment.

A few years ago, Dave asked again for information on his birth parents, now with a desire to connect to people like himself, as his adoptive family is extremely dissimilar. Dave's conversation with his dad was abrupt and the message was clear that there would be no information shared. Throughout this all, Dave backed down in an effort to not hurt his mother.

So, in a bizarre twist of events, Dave emailed his parents again yesterday and they called him today with the name of his birth mother and her parents. His father is not listed on the records. Not only is there no family friend with information, there is also no extended medical record. He was lying to keep Dave's mom happy.

Dave has now been on the computer for about an hour, searching for possible matches with the limited information that he has.

8 comments:

Jen said...

WOW!

Christina said...

Good luck. I had no idea they even knew who the mother was. I always assumed because of the time it was a sealed adoption. That and no one ever talked about it.

frizzlefry said...

It was sealed, but I guess they kept all of the records. And yes, they have been nothing if not misleading and tight-lipped.

His birth mother is apparently catholic (according to the limited info we have) and his birth father is supposedly Mormon. How many half siblings might he have?!?!

Naomi said...

What an amazing story. So odd that his parents wouldn't let him--as an adult--know any information they might have . . .

Best of luck on any information you might find. Keep us posted!

Jeannie said...

This is your cousins (James) wife Jeannie. I was just reading your blog about Dave, and I do have a friend that lived in Gooding for about 2-3 years. I would be more then happy to give her a call and see if she knows anything. Let me know.

frizzlefry said...

uh oh! I may have just opened the can of worms in the Astle family! His parents just told him today that they really want it kept secret. Why? I have absolutely no clue.

Jeannie said...

It's all good. We will leave it at that. Good Luck.

frizzlefry said...

Thanks Jeannie. He might still choose to go that route.

Now I need updated on things in your life!