Friday, September 7, 2007

The Verdict is In

Well, after several teacher meetings, we have been given a ruling on Nate and his behavior at school. Here it is:
Nate is not willing to be compliant. (Say this sternly for maximum effect).

What?!?! When did that happen? Oh yes, that's correct, it happened at birth. I remember that now. 6 years of asking 95,000 times for him to do his chores or find his shoes or even to put his pants on right-side out. Was I supposed to be shocked? horrified? repentant? I'm not sure. I do know that I was not supposed to smile and agree. Clearly, I am complicit in this behavior. Clearly, I am not strict enough in my house and he is deteriorating into a hapless pile of non-compliant goo. Surely, he is bound to end up addicted to drugs, homeless (maybe even a hobo- wouldn't he be thrilled?!?) and a drain on the upstanding members of society. Don't think she didn't go there, because she did. And implied that I am also non-compliant. Well, right. I am. I don't mean to be, and I'm often horribly conflicted by my lack of desire to obey, but he most certainly does get this from me.

I have tried my entire life to "be good" and do the "things I am supposed to" but underneath it all is this snarky little voice in my head saying, "this is stupid" and "rules are meant to be broken". But I digress. . .

So, I explored in more depth what exactly it was that was driving this teacher straight to Starbucks to fortify herself before facing him every day. It turns out he hates to color and write sentences. Well, DUH! I told her that as soon as we knew she was the teacher. And, I'm not convinced she clearly defined how she wanted him to comply, because the work she showed me was technically done. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't neat- OK, it was barely legible- but it was complete.

Evan had this very same problem in 1st grade, and his teacher put him in time-out every day for a month before either of them saw fit to tell me. He went to school every day, knowing he was going to get punished for not being willing to write and color. Nate comes home every day with a pouty lip, sad that he got in trouble, again. I do not find this cute.

So, we are home schooling one more. Rebi has already agreed to teach him Spanish and Evan is dying to work on science with him. Luckily, I am still capable of first grade math!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Stalked by Hobos

Just now, as we were getting out of the car, Nate said, "Mom, you're being stalked by invisible hobos!"

And really, that makes a lot of sense to me. Clearly, something or someone is following behind me making messes while I clean. And if I were invisible, I just might dent a bumper to try and get some attention. Naturally, an army of invisible hobos could give me that sense of overwhelming dread I've been experiencing lately. Frankly, I like the hobos! Think of all the things I can blame on them.

In all seriousness (and I say that tongue-in-cheek since Nate is involved), my son doesn't have an invisible friend. Rather, he has spent all day talking to Bob the Invisible Hobo and Bob's family (mom, brother, I don't know who else).

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Bum Bumper

I was driving the kids to gymnastics today when I noticed I was nearly out of gas. I dropped them off, and pulled into a gas station. Imagine my surprise when I looked down and noticed a huge dent in the side of the bumper on my van. Now, I am pretty happy that it's ONLY the bumper. It could have been several thousand dollars worth of damage, and replacing the bumper is probably only going to cost me a thousand. That said, ARRRRRRRGH!

Who runs into someone and goes, "oh well!" and leaves?!?! It's a freaking crime! Besides, I didn't actually want to replace the bumper on my van just yet! GRRRRRR. The worst part is, I have no idea if it happened at school, wal mart, or even for sure if it happened today (although I'm pretty confident). Totally annoying.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Happy Labor Day

Lots of partying. . .lots and lots of partying.

I need to go make a salad and a dessert.

And the AC is fixed. YAY!