It's possible that today was the longest day of my life. If you don't believe me, by all means coat your eyes in turquoise shadow, gloss your lips in hot pink, rat your hair and squeeze your size 12 (OK, 14 but shhh!) body into a size 10 prom dress circa 1972. Should that not be quite enough to send you over the edge, by all means pose for a photo, outside, with the dress zip tied shut in the back while children are walking home from middle school. It's even better if you can't get the dress off either over your head or over your "ample" hips when the photo shoot finally ends.
Fun doesn't even begin to describe it.