. . . but not today. To fill in a little back story, last night at midnight I was upstairs turning out lights and begging my kids to put their freaking books down and go to sleep so that church (and all things associated) would not be a disaster. Right, so.
Today went a little something like this:
Mom: Everyone up! C'mon! Outta' bed.
Mom: (10 minutes later) Kids. get out of bed. C'mon. Everyone up!
Mom: (9:05 am) Everyone! Get out of bed. I mean NOW! Don't make me come in there and drag you out.
5 kids finally mutter and grumble their way into the kitchen, at which point Nate decides that Sunday morning is the perfect day to incite riot from his brothers, and they begin tearing around the house using very loud and high pitched voices. Very loud. Did I mention the screeching?
Once the screeching begins, then the whining must ensue.
Ellie: E-v-v-a-a-n. s-s-s-t-o-o-o-o-p it! Stop touching me! M-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-m! (please everyone whine along with us now)
Rebi: Ellie, you're so annoying! Shut up.
Ellie: Rebi, stop yelling at me!
Rebi: I'm not yelling at you, I'm trying to be heard over Evan screaming!
Evan: (unintelligible joyful screeching at Nate or Ty)
Ellie: Why does everyone hate me? (or something similar and dissolve into tears. I always thought children became emo once they hit puberty, but I'm beginning to wonder if some of them are just born that way).
Mom: QUIET! Eat your breakfast. NOW!
Fast forward to 10:05 (we have to leave at 10:15)
Mom: Everyone get down here and let me see you!
No answer, more screeching from upstairs. Naturally, at T-10 and counting, I am
a) beyond frazzled my own self and
b) ready to do damage to any child not already fully clothed and ready to walk out the door.
So, I go to the bottom of the stairs and what should I see? 3 boys in various states of undress, none of whom have anything resembling church clothes on. More dialog? Sure. It goes a little something like this:
Mom: WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE? GET YOUR FREAKING CHURCH CLOTHES ON BEFORE I COME UP THERE AND BEAT YOUR STINKY LITTLE BUTTS!
Brilliantly, they ran and got dressed and we were on time to church.
Excuse me now, I need to go take a nap.