Chat between myself and a client who regularly gives me gray hair. Today is no exception:
Me: k, sent you both breakdowns, monthly and for the entire year all at once. Go ahead and choose which billing format you want.
Client: thanks sorry for the delay- they were filling a guys cube here with packing peanuts
Me: naturally. and who can resist that? I, of course, would be the one doing the filling. I prefer ducks though. So much messier than peanuts and harder to catch.
Client: ha - well thats what you get for taking vacation time
Me: absolutely. only the dedicated deserve a chair and computer when they return
(Client then asked for 23 different things, truncated to keep from boring you to tears)
Me: Sure, I can do that. BRB, I'm just going to catch a few ducks to mail to you.
Just after that, he disappeared again. However, he missed the humor when I told him I could let him go shrink wrap a co-worker to a desk and I would finish up his proposal with him later.