Knott Another Typical Day

Have I ever blogged about my friend Shari? She's the one who convinced me to paint my house in Salt Lake a bunch of different awesome colors. She's the one who convinced me that going to Orlando via Boston would totally rock. She's the one who talked me into changing my own alternator belt on an old Mazda. And after she talks me into stuff, she helps me carry out the plan. We poured cement in my kitchen- with the help of 8 kids under the age of 9- and tiled three rooms, we cut holes in a wall for better AC access and then finished and decorated them, we changed the alternator and the brakes, chainsawed a tree and removed a stump from her back yard, grouted her entire kitchen, and then scrubbed 2 gallons of white paint back off of it, (after her oldest child "helped" us) and 100 or more other things that I can't remember. She let me hold her newest of newborn babies, in the hospital, all night long. OK, she didn't really have a choice there, as she was too weak to make me go home so I took advantage. She let me cry on her new couches after my roommate from college died. She forgave Dave on sight when he dropped and shattered their only (expensive) television. And I sincerely hope I can find the pictures of that one because that story really does need to live on for many many moons.

And I have come to learn (and not without a fight) that Shari, much like Dad in that old sitcom, always knows best. Which is not to say I wasn't grumpy at 6 am when I got up to drive to Long Beach to get her. Never mind that she flew in exclusively to help me take a day off- something I just don't do like I should. I was still grumpy. Before dawn and rush hour just don't belong in the same sentence. Or anywhere near my life. But hey, it's a sacrifice. And when Shari says, "I'll see you in the morning", I have learned that it is in my best interest to see Shari.

When I picked her up, she said, "So what do you want to do for the day?"
And struck by inspiration, I said, "Well Knotts Berry Farms is close."

Yes, yes we did. We took our creaky hips and sticky knees and weak bladders and baby tummies and we rode every roller coaster in the park. Some of them twice.

We ate bugs, and choked on our own laughter and screamed and screamed and screamed. Shari nearly puked 3 or 4 times. And some weirdo nearly puked on me once. From the top of the tallest tower in the park. I was afraid he would puke and then we would catch it on the way back up.


We sat on the front on every ride except one. And if anyone invites you to sit on the back row on the Boomerang, please just say no. Honestly. There's some hang time on that one. And it isn't entirely painless.


Don't be fooled by the Silver Bullet. It isn't silver. What kind of joker paints a ride red, except for the struts holding the track, loads it with green, red and yellow swings, and then names it the silver bullet?

This was actually our last ride of the day, so we hobbled up the 720 steps to it, too proud to ride the elevator, too many worn joints to pretend we were teenagers, mocking ourselves the entire way for looking 90. But once it was over and our equilibrium was permanently damaged, we had to agree looking 90 going up the stairs was WAYY better than the hysterical laughter we were met with when we had to scoot on our butts to get back down 720 stairs without falling over!

And lest you should be worried about the kids, I want to reassure you that I kept them updated all day long by text messaging photos of each ride to them. I didn't want them to think I just forgot about them.

So, if I burst out laughing for no apparent reason over the next few days, I'm just reliving the insanity. Or realizing the insanity. Or reveling in the insanity. I don't know which, I get confused. But let me tell you, we had a blast!

P.S. If you ride this ride:
you absolutely HAVE to scream as you go over. It totally makes the experience. We found that out from the teenagers in the row behind us. They certainly made it the best ride of the day. I'd share the joke, but it's hysterical when you figure it out for yourself.